I used to have this siege mentality, of besieging myself to survive the current stage/phase of life I'm in, whichever it is, just to get through to the next, in the (almost always misguided) belief that things would be better once I got to the other side of that threshold.

It used to work--from Primary School to Secondary School and getting that little bit more of freedom from the boredom of English/Math/Science and getting to play around with computers a whole lot more; from Secondary School to Junior College and getting a little bit more breathing room in things outside of school; getting out of Life-In-Green and getting back the much-missed personal freedoms; and finally getting to college and all.

But, at every threshold that's crossed, a whole new can of worms that I never knew existed would be opened, and with everything escaping from the Pandora's Box, I would quickly get right back into that siege mentality, and I would always be looking forward into the distant future, and completely not living in the moment.

Yet, that is also not completely true, because I've definitely had many completely in-the-moment periods in my life, when it seemed everything was going right, when I could do no wrong, when every step seemed to be a right one, even if sometimes only when I connected the dots on hindsight, but that was still fine.

I really should learn to live in the moment, soak up everything in the present, not worry too much about things I do not have control over, and make the best and most of every waking moment. It's easier said than done, I've definitely said this before many a time, but I could always do with a little help in that respect, with a little reminding.

One step at a time.

It's been great, the first year I'm back for the Chinese New Year in a long time, and it's weird, because it feels as though I've never left, as if the four years had never happened, yet they most certainly have. It's really weird, but I'm just thankful I'm home, and thankful for the last four years and everything that's come out of it. I couldn't be any more thankful for everything.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone, wherever you are.