(I can't believe I was stupid enough to click on another link on this page, and so, I've lost everything I typed. WTH. Haha. Grr. One up for stupidity, one down against common sense. I think I need a new mouse. Hahaha.)

It's been quite a while since I've been home, 3 days in fact.

Anyhow, it's been a pleasant family holiday, spent away from the clutches of the Internet, spent away from work, spent with family. It's been very enjoyable, seeing my parents so happy, having so much fun, and having fun together as a family--swimming, bowling, eating, sleeping, swimming, bowling, eating, and then sleeping some more.

It's been quite a while, since I've been able to afford the luxury of a good, extended family holiday, what with studies the other work committments in the past, the army now, etc etc, so it's been a good break, a good holiday, especially one with my family; time with my family has become very important to me, especially after so many things have happened this year.

It's been quite a year for me I guess, first with personal problems that threatened to break me apart, even if my parents were never aware of the full extent of them all and how dangerously close to the brink I was, and then with things going on around me, especially certain things that, overnight, changed how I felt and thought about many, many things.

And suddenly I find myself becoming increasingly resembling one of my closest friends--spending a lot of time with my family, and with a very small group of very close friends, and pretty much not doing anything else, spending the rest of the time at home, or with family--suddenly my social circle has closed up, because I don't feel that much of a need for one anymore, because suddenly, I just want to treasure all that I have, because suddenly, with the realisation that everything can be lost so easily, I hold on to all that matter to me a lot more--not in a possesive way, but I treasure those who matter to me, a lot more now. Priorities, and thoughts, feelings and all, have changed, for sure.

I guess you were right, that sometimes, the passing of one, can be for the greater good of the rest, if they all learn something out of it, if they all become better persons out of the episode, if they all grew up, matured, a little more.

I don't know how the rest of my platoonmates feel; everything goes on, life goes on, everything's as per normal--the usual jokes, ribbing, insults, and all; but there seems to be less quarreling, less fighting, less squabling--it's as if the energy's fizzled away, and suddenly everyone's closer than before. I don't know for sure, because I never did, and still don't, mix around much with them; life's just simpler keeping to myself (even if you guys out there read this haha; just let me live in my own pretence, won't you? I'm sure you know about To Kill a Mockingbird), but it just feels that way to me--that everyone seems to have mellowed; or maybe it's just me, who still feels the loss, the shock, even if it's died down, the whole acuteness of it.

I guess some things in life (or perhaps, everything, for that matter, haha) do happen for a reason.

And these 3 days away from the Internet have felt weird, as if I was living in a virtual world right smack in the middle of reality itself, of all ironies. It's weird, how the Internet feels more real than the real physical world itself to me; I guess it's because it's here where I express myself, where I speak up, where I live in a community of (anonymous) people who (seem to) listen, where my identity is strongest. Haha. Anyhow it's good to be back.

I wrote a lot more, about growing up with the Internet, about social phenomena, before it all unfortunately got erased, so I shan't bother with that.

Anyhow, Merry Christmas to everyone. A new year approaches, and the time for hangovers on excessive nostalgia beckons. Haha. Perhaps I have finally solved the mystery of seasonal emotional and mental disorders haha.

Merry Christmas. :)