I took my time with the 20 (40 round-trip) mile-drive home for once.

On the return leg, instead of trying to dodge traffic to get home, I decided to take things slow for once, and not hit the fast lane only to feel stressed up with keeping the car under control while keeping fast enough to stop the dangerous drivers from undercutting me from my left.

It was a lot more leisurely, as I enjoyed the music on the radio, and contemplated things a little (not the safest thing to do while driving, though). I enjoyed the pitter-patter of the light rain as it hit the windscreen.

But most of all, it was safer, and there's one more person to stay safe for, even if it means going a little slower. Whoever said that cliched aphorisms on highway signs don't work? :)

Would the world be a whole lot better if everyone just thought the best of everyone else?

I came across this book, Singapore 2.0, at the bookstore, proclaiming to have the answers that would make Singapore a better place, if only the government would listen. And it has a foreward written by Sylvia Lim, the leader of the Worker's Party A-Team that almost won a GRC in the last elections, which would have made political history in modern Singapore. Clearly, it's another politically motivated book. But, more fundamentally, even if a little far-fetched, why is the government doubtful and wary of the opposition, and why do some quarters think the government is out to screw them over?

Can't people see that running the country is really difficult, and that the government is already doing its best to help the people? And can't the government see that everyone else out there are genuinely concerned? And take everything in in a more friendly manner?

Wouldn't things be a whole lot nicer if everyone were less suspicious of each other?

Haha. How idealistic.

Long before I'd discovered the wondrous world of Marvin the Paranoid Android and his merry men in the late Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I was fixated on the crazy lands of the Middle World in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, on the heroic gunslingers in the story--the equivalent of the Jedi knights in Star Wars, and the noble men in Lord of the Rings.

And one thing I remembered from that story--was what the main character, Roland, the last gunslinger remaining, used to say--to "remember thy father's eyes" when shooting; and to never defile the weapon, and to always do right by it. Only then, would the gunslinger maintain his honour, be one with his weapon, and hit all his evil targets.

The analogy is probably somewhat gruesome. But what you said, reminds me of that, and sounds somewhat like it too--there are perhaps, probably, a gazillion things that you could say, with your eyes, just by looking, that you would never be able to find the words for. And all I really want to do, is to do right by you.

I can remember, and I can always see in my mind, the look in your eyes, and everything they're trying to say--and I'll remember that look in your eyes, and that'll be enough to keep me going, to give me strength.

I find it very curious and interesting, how each of us, on our own journey through life, can take such very different paths.

On one hand, in modern society, it seems, and I'd often believed previously, that there was only a bounded number of paths you could go on--for instance, go to Primary, and then Secondary School, and then either a Polytechnic or Junior College, and then University perhaps, and then on to a real job in the real world, etc. That's largely a reflection of how naive I can/am/have been. It's also a gross oversimplification and idealization of how things work in the real world. It's also a reflection of the inner desire/belief that things work linearly in this world--that the hardworking get amply rewarded no matter their background, and that every dog has its day.

The fact of the matter is, even ignoring the fact that each person is a unique individuals who carves his own path out, potentially in a non-linear fashion (e.g. getting over or under rewarded for effort put in), there are myriad other personal, and inter-personal connections along the way. There are shared memories created, friends made, and lost, along the way, people you meet, even for the briefest of moments, who can have a profound impact on your life. And it's never obvious, nor even clear, how is it that you even met these folks, regardless of whether they've left a good, or bad, impression on you, and whether they've done you good, or harm.

It's easy to say everything happens for a reason. I think it's more positive to say that life is what you make of it, cliched as it sounds. And sometimes we have limited vision, and it's only later, that we can gain a clearer perspective of things--of course, the problem there is that there are hard stops in life, i.e., when it ends. That's what really makes things beautiful--the fact that life can and does end at some point in time. Otherwise lots of things would be quite meaningless.

It's very interesting, listening to someone narrate her own past experiences, seeing glimpses of her past, feeling, hearing where she came from, how she'd got to be who she is today. I think that it is a very private thing works in both ways--it's private enough that you would tell only the fewest of souls, because only those who truly care to know, to find out, would be worth your telling it all to.

Life works in very curious ways, indeed. There are no averages, there is only what doesn't happen, and what happens, and just the single occurrence, is sometimes enough for everything.

This is a somewhat belated entry, considering that I'm writing about something that happened over the weekend. In any case, certain events which transpired over the weekend made me realize something first-hand--that anger probably arises from a sense of feeling victimized, and that the anger simmers only because you feel wronged and helpless.

Never mind whether you were wronged, and whether you really were helpless. The point is that just feeling that you were wronged and helpless, and then perpetuating that fact by refusing to help yourself, are what really drive anger, I think. It's that sense of feeling that you've been made the victim of some evil act that you were powerless to stop. Sure, there might be some cases where that is the case--such as in child abuse, but for the most part, in everyday living, that is certainly not the case.

It's easy and highly convenient to not see things from the other person's perspective--that's what happens when you forget to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, I guess. And then it's easy to get into a tailspin and conclude that the world is conspiring against you, and that you are powerless to stop it.

But just stopping, and taking a moment to think about the situation, and think about what you can actually do to fix whatever it is that is annoying you, can get you out of that rut of feeling helpless, and make things better. Of course, that is not to say that you should always be demanding things--it is also important to take note of the context around you and figure out if that's the way things are, for some particular reason. There's usually pretty good reasons for why things work/are the way they are, and it's not a bad idea to keep calm and take a look around first--unless you're crossing the road and a huge mass of steel is hurtling towards you at some speed close to that of light.

It's never hurts to stop and look around, and it usually helps to be proactive, and to try to do something about whatever is bothering you. Nice lessons from a weekend. And I got to try to ramen after all! Good stuff :)--both the ramen and the company.